🏴‍☠️ All You Can Steal

Happy Saturday, it’s June 07, 2025.

Here’s today’s dose of what you signed up for.

🔥 Top Shelf Chaos

⚖️ SCOTUS just handed Trump’s data cops the keys to your life. The Supreme Court gave Trump’s “Department of Government Efficiency” full access to Social Security data - SSNs, bank info, even medical records, while blocking FOIA oversight. DOGE says it’s fighting fraud; critics say it’s Big Brother in a business suit. Justice Jackson shredded the ruling, but the privacy act just got bulldozed. This isn’t modernization, it’s surveillance on steroids, and it’s now 100% court-approved. (More)

🫆 Hackers just dumped AT&T’s entire customer base (almost). 86M records, 44M with decrypted SSNs, just got dumped online, and it’s being sold like knockoff sneakers on Russian forums. Hackers claim it’s from the 2024 Snowflake breach, but the numbers don’t add up. AT&T’s dodging confirmation, again. They paid ransom once. Didn’t work. Your identity? Served raw, with metadata on top. This isn’t a leak, it’s a buffet for fraudsters, and AT&T’s customers are the main course. (More)

🚘 BMW’s EV dreams stall in tariff hell. A Japanese battery maker just ghosted its $1.6B South Carolina plant, blaming “policy uncertainty”, basically saying Trump’s tariffs are spooking foreign cash and nuking EV incentives. $1B already sunk. BMW’s still pretending everything’s fine, but South Carolina’s once-bulletproof bet on global auto giants is looking sketchy. No restart date. No stability. Just the sound of economic momentum slamming into a wall at 80 mph. (More)

👀 Side-Eye Central

🎢 CoreWeave’s stock is partying like fundamentals don’t exist. It’s up 250% post-IPO despite debt mountains, dependence on Microsoft, and analyst side-eyes. Retail’s hyped, institutions are cautious, and skeptics call it WeWork in GPU cosplay. But with Nvidia and OpenAI in the mix, traders keep buying the dream. (More)

💸 Gemini files for IPO as crypto hype hits warp speed. The Winklevoss twins’ exchange is riding the Circle-fueled IPO wave, filing confidentially as crypto claws back mainstream love. Bitcoin’s booming, ETFs are in, and even Trump’s cheerleading. After FTX’s collapse, Wall Street’s suddenly thirsty again, and Gemini’s ready to pour. (More)

📉 Amazon freezes hiring budget for retail biz. Corporate roles in Amazon’s retail arm are stuck with 2024-level spending as the company shifts from headcount targets to tight OpEx limits. No hiring ban, just brutal scrutiny. Jassy’s efficiency crusade lives on, even as profits soar and warehouse hiring stays untouched. (More)

✈️ Supersonic air travel is back on the U.S. radar. Trump signed orders to repeal the 50-year ban on overland supersonic flights, pushing FAA to greenlight next-gen jets like Boom and NASA’s X-59. The noise? Still a concern. But America wants back in the fast lane - booms, bans, and all. (More)

🤼‍♂️ Trump–Musk beef shakes xAI’s $5B funding blitz. Musk’s AI startup was cruising toward a $5B debt deal, then he picked a fight with Trump, who responded by threatening to shred contracts. Now investors are skittish, rates may spike, and Morgan Stanley’s left patching leaks while pitching a company that’s still burning cash. (More)

🤷‍♂️ Whatever

🧪 Infleqtion lands $100M to bring quantum tech to defense. The startup raised big and teamed with SAIC to shrink its room-temp quantum system for military timing and communications. (More)

🚕 Waymo is quietly eating Uber’s lunch in SF. After 20 months, it’s grabbed 27% of the rideshare market, proof that driverless cars aren’t sci-fi anymore, they’re competition. (More)

🤖 Tesla wants Austin to keep robotaxi secrets sealed. The EV giant’s trying to block public records from revealing its self-driving rollout plans, calling them “confidential” and “damaging.” Transparency? Not so much. (More)

🏦 Deutsche Bank flirts with stablecoins and tokenized deposits. Germany’s biggest bank may issue its own crypto token as traditional finance creeps further into blockchain, slowly, but louder each quarter. (More)

🛡️ Lakestar aims to raise $300M for European defense tech. The Spotify-backer wants a war chest for startups building drones, AI, and battlefield software as Europe doubles down on military innovation. (More)

🛑 France orders VPNs to block pirate sports streams. A Paris court just forced major VPNs - Nord, Express, Proton, Surfshark, and more, to block access to piracy domains across all French territories. (More)

📡 EchoStar may file for bankruptcy to guard spectrum stash. Facing FCC heat and $500M in missed payments, the Dish-owner might go Chapter 11 to shield Boost Mobile’s spectrum from revocation. (More)

📜 Cursed Wisdom

🧯 Send Help (to Others)

Be a hero. Save someone from the soul-crushing boredom of mainstream news.
Hit forward. Share the chaos. Perform CPR, the metaphorical kind, obviously.
We’ll even reward you. Eventually. Probably. But don’t do it for the prize. Do it because you’re a good person. Or at least want to look like one.