📂 Deleted Chats? Lol

Happy Friday, it’s June 06, 2025.

Here’s today’s dose of what you signed up for.

🔥 Top Shelf Chaos

🗨️ Your “deleted” ChatGPT chats are now evidence, surprise! A judge just told OpenAI to hoard every user convo, yes, even the spicy, deleted, and supposedly “temporary” ones, because news orgs think people might be using ChatGPT to dodge paywalls. OpenAI’s having a privacy aneurysm, calling it a reckless, evidence-free fishing trip that nukes user trust and breaks global laws. Judge Wang? Unmoved. Your chats are now potential exhibits, whether you like it or not. (More)

💥 Musk vs. Trump just nuked $152B off Tesla like it was spare change. Their bromance finally imploded on social media, with Musk flaming Trump’s budget bill and Trump clapping back that Elon’s just mad about losing EV subsidies. Tesla’s stock cratered 14%, TrumpCoin slid 10%, and Steve Bannon called for Musk’s deportation. Musk even claimed Trump’s hiding in the Epstein files, because apparently policy beef now comes with conspiracy toppings. (More)

🚧 Supreme Court guts decades of red tape with NEPA rewrite. In a seismic 5–3 ruling, SCOTUS just rewired how the feds review infrastructure projects under the National Environmental Policy Act. No more chasing butterfly effects across time zones. Agencies don’t have to predict indirect climate fallout from projects beyond their control. Justice Kavanaugh torched “Kafkaesque” delays and handed agencies broad leeway, tilting the game in favor of pipelines, highways, and fossil fuel expansions. (More)

👀 Side-Eye Central

⚡ Global energy investment to hit $3.3T as clean tech crushes fossil fuels. The IEA says 2025 will shatter records, with renewables, nuclear, and storage grabbing $2.2T, double the fossil fuel spend. Solar alone is soaking up $450B. But grid upgrades lag, risking power stability, and developing nations remain cash-starved. (More)

🧪 Big Oil begs GOP to keep Biden’s hydrogen tax credit alive. In a plot twist, oil giants and green lobbies are teaming up to stop Republicans from killing Biden’s $3/kg hydrogen subsidy. Exxon, DuPont, and others warn the repeal would hand China the global hydrogen crown and tank billions in U.S. projects. (More)

🚙 Tesla’s sales keep tanking as global demand nosedives. GigaShanghai exports fell 15% in May, Tesla’s eighth straight monthly drop. UK and Germany sales crashed 36%. Despite clinging to its AI rebrand, car sales still fund the empire, and those are in freefall. Even loyal bulls are bailing. (More)

🕵️‍♂️ Rippling calls Deel a ‘criminal syndicate’ in wild new lawsuit twist. Rippling’s updated RICO complaint accuses Deel of spying on five rivals, naming its CEO as ringleader. One spy even confessed in a honeypot sting. Deel denies everything and countersued, claiming Rippling impersonated customers. Grab popcorns. (More)

🛸 Walmart expands drone delivery with Alphabet’s Wing to five new cities. Wing’s speedy little fliers will now drop packages in Atlanta, Charlotte, Houston, Orlando, and Tampa. With up to 100 new stores joining, Walmart’s aiming to turn your front yard into a mini runway for groceries and gadgets under 5 pounds. (More)

🤷‍♂️ Whatever

💰 Anduril lands $2.5B raise, doubles valuation to $30.5B. Founders Fund dropped a record $1B into the autonomous weapons giant, because war tech, apparently, is booming business. (More)

📉 Temu and Shein crash in the U.S. as Trump tariffs bite. Daily users tanked 52% and 25% in May, with ad spend vanishing and app ranks collapsing. All hail tariffs. (More)

🧵 Joann fades, Michaels stitches up the scraps. As Joann unravels, Michaels grabs its IP, lures its customers, and floods shelves with fabric. All’s fair in craft and bankruptcy. (More)

💻 Anysphere’s Cursor hits $500M ARR, bags $9.9B valuation. The AI coding upstart raised $900M as “vibe coding” goes viral. From zero to unicorn in record time. (More)

📰 Boston Globe, Vox, and others join ProRata’s AI payout plan. Gist.ai now has 500 publishers feeding its search engine, trading headlines for ad cash, not training data. (More)

🧨 Play ransomware gang triples victim count to 900, says FBI. The FBI says Play is now one of the most active global threats, dodging detection with custom malware and phone-call extortion. (More)

🤖 Amazon wants to replace delivery drivers with humanoid bots. Testing’s begun on robots that leap from vans and drop packages at your door, because bots don’t unionize or need bathroom breaks. (More)

📜 Cursed Wisdom

🧯 Send Help (to Others)

Be a hero. Save someone from the soul-crushing boredom of mainstream news.
Hit forward. Share the chaos. Perform CPR, the metaphorical kind, obviously.
We’ll even reward you. Eventually. Probably. But don’t do it for the prize. Do it because you’re a good person. Or at least want to look like one.